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Negative Gain [Sep. 30th, 2005|12:20 am]
its the boundaries put in place
with that look upon your face
another lie i know is true

i'm losing you

its the hope i can mistake
what i feel in your embrace
realize its nothing new

i'm losing you
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between ff and rew [May. 25th, 2005|12:19 am]
01 21 2005

the moment
where life

the steps taken
were done
for the better
there was no question

some months later
many spent
vainly searching, seeking, or preaching to shadows
all the while
feigning this false vigilance
without any sign
or anytime
still i could find

on this
damn remote
where to press
play >
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(no subject) [Mar. 24th, 2005|04:19 am]
lala la la lala
and if i can't make it
i can't do a thing.

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. [Mar. 16th, 2005|04:21 am]
i find it
sometimes in the most
unusual places

i struggle to carry it
smuggling deep across borders
most arbitrary in nature

i need to believe it
wishing with a total lack of resound
this wasn't where it grows

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Moovin' on up... [Nov. 18th, 2004|01:49 pm]
Yeah, so i'm in the process of setting up a new website and domain... I've neglected so many sites in the past i really don't think i should be allowed to make or setup things on the internet anymore. Sorta like an appropriate childhood punishment for something trivial like letting my fish die from starvation or something.. heh. But nope, the internet is always like...

"hey buddy, where ya been? Long time no see... Oh yeah sure, setup another site np problem, man. I'll just need your creditcard number and can you just fill out this little form. Yeah you know the drill, just fomalities. So, um.... Do you have any new Porn?"

Yes, internet, i do have new porn... but do you really need more nekkid pictures? I mean don't you think you have enough already? Can't you ever desire something else? something... i don't know... productive? helpful? honest? ...

nope. just Porn.

oh well.
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(no subject) [Nov. 3rd, 2004|04:22 pm]
i knew this girl that used to give the best head.

She was athletic, with just the right proportions and she kept her body in near mint shape. im talking pristine. oh yeah, the best part was she was really REALLY flexable. i remember the fun we had together, the way we used to hit that shit, making each other cum, like ten times a day. i couldn't get enough of her and she was always down for the tumble.

i used to think i loved her or at least i know i loved the way she made me feel. it was one of those intense relationships, the kind that burn hard and hot. the kind where you know its not gonna last forever but you couldn't care less. the kind where sooner or later something always changes and fucks things up.


someone turns out to be psycho, threatens your buddies, attacks your best friend and then fucks around on you with two guys at once.


but she gave the best head.

so every once in a while i catch myself thinking about her. maybe i think about all that happened and how fucked up she left me. maybe i think about the damage i must have done when i rejected her outright or how i ignored on her attempts to contact me, even her last attempt, five years after. sometimes i think that she got just was she deserved.

and sometimes i end up thinking that i did love her..

that im the one who is fucked..



at least she gave the best head.
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(no subject) [Nov. 2nd, 2004|04:54 pm]
sometimes i think about the people i went to highschool with.

well, not exactly.

i actually sorta wonder if they ever think about me.

if they think, "hey i wonder what the fuck Tory ever got up to?"... i kinda like that concept. the idea that they don't know a god damn thing about my life and even if i'm still alive at all. heck maybe they don't even remember me. i sure as hell don't remember everyone from 10 years ago. i guess thats why people so desperately need highschool reunions... they want to let the other know that they are still alive or making it big, sorta brag a bit.

That... yeah thats obvious... but they also, and i think this part is key, NEED to find out juist how badly everyone else has done compared to them. who had a kid right out of highschool and never got out of that small town... who was forced to drop out of college due to substance abuse... who spent the 2 years in jail for a BnE and is on a work release program with a halfway house.. which lucky bastards didn't make it because the bungie cord snapped or the bus didn't stop in time...

they want to see the failures.

it's the reality show syndrome all over again. the slowdown and stare as they creep by a car crash scene. they need to justify their own lives by highlighting and rehashing the misfortune of others. why does our society embrace this? its not about the winners and i'm not sure it ever was. even if you place the truth directly infront of them, they will continue to deny it.

yes. nothing changes. most people want to see the carnage. they desire it.


at least i hope to give them a good show.
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it does a body good... ;) [Aug. 18th, 2004|12:40 am]

What The Hell Happened Last Night?
LJ Username
What did you drink?
You wake up in the morning next to: tigertosser
...who is wearing: a Tron costume
...and rolls over to you to say: My God, you're supple!
...and then: nibbles your neck
This quiz by joneccleston - Taken 48843 Times.
New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

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diming [Jun. 24th, 2004|01:11 am]
that was alot to ask for
let alone hope for
even to factor into it
fuck it.

shes making plans
while planing to break
push to get the motion moving
end this
her less than bliss
in its
fragile form

before her
more than a few before that
question my motives

i'm broken
it is only a matter of time
till the goodness in me no longer shines
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C:\life>_ [Apr. 16th, 2004|05:41 pm]
scratch that
nix it rub it out
erase and format
start over

if only it was that simple.
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